On the Comeback Trail (II): On Loss

   Every human being spends his or her life learning how to deal (more-or-less) gracefully with loss.  As young children, we lose our security blankets and our pets.  We grow older and leave mom behind to get on the school bus to begin a new life.  We dream of becoming an astronaut or a professional baseball player, or the president, until we realize that honor doesn't come from great jobs, but by simply being a great person.  We encounter our first loves and our first betrayals.  We grow out of clothes and lose our wristwatches.  Our team loses the soccer tournament and we don't get selected as starters on the basketball team.  We take a "C" in algebra and that cute little guy or girl refuses to go with us to the Homecoming Dance.  We leave the security of school to go to college or a job or the military or something else, realizing that our youth is slipping away into adulthood and adult responsibilities.  We fall in and out of love, with most of us finding Mr. or Ms. "Right", and giving up the independence of our former ways for the good of starting a new family.  A child is born and more freedom is given away to raise and mentor the next generation.  We place these children on the school bus in a few years, and vicariously suffer the same losses we suffered as children.  Over time we may lose one or another of our jobs, our appendixes or gallbladders, loved ones (parents, peers, children) who finish their earthly travails; we make bad picks on the stock market, fail at entrepreneurial ventures, and slowly whittle away the days of our lives until one morning we wake up and we are old.  We retire from our jobs, our body slowly betrays us as we can no longer see or her or run or walk like we used to, we lose more acquaintances to death, we sell the big house needed to raise our families in order to go into a condominium or retirement home.  Skipping to the end, ultimately the only thing left to give up is our very selves in the sleep of death--where we lose even ourselves to the passing nature of this world.

   Our whole life is a dress rehearsal for the 'big loss' at the end.  We have our faith in something more, but that doesn't mitigate the fact that in order to pass into the here-after, we have to give up absolutely everything to embrace it.  Every loss, therefore, can be seen as a 'little death' and another step towards ultimate freedom in belonging to God.  The Christian tradition repeats this insight over and over and over, encouraging us to take to heart the passing nature of this world and to inspire us to look to things that are eternal.  Take the following insights from scripture:

• Mark 8:35 - Whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever will lose his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it.
• Luke 9:23 - If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.
• John 22: 24 -  Amen, amen I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the earth and dies, it remains a single grain, but if it dies it bears much fruit.
• Romans 12: 1 -  I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.
• Philippians 1: 21 - For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
• 2 Corinthians 1: 3-5 - Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.
• 2 Corinthians 12: 9 - But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  I therefore boast even more gladly in my weaknesses, so the the power of Christ may rest upon me.
• 1 Peter 4: 1-11 - Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God. For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry. With respect to this they are surprised when you do not join them in the same flood of debauchery, and they malign you; but they will give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead.

How do we respond to loss?  Sadness can be appropriate.  It is honest, for a joy, a gift, a grace has passed from us.  Look at what Job's (1: 21) attitude is:

"Naked I came forth from my mother's womb, and naked I shall go back again.  The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord!"

Came forth... go back.   Gave... taken away.  These verbs help explain that the earthly experience humans share is a net-zero gain round-trip in this world.  Just as we are born and we die, we come into the world with nothing and go back with nothing.  The only thing we leave with is the experience granted us from space and time, and the promise of God's reunion of body and soul in the eternity lying beyond space-time.

   Loss isn't easy, but it is the Christian way.  Christ himself did not see it beneath his dignity to suffer our death at the hands of cruel and mindless men.  He spread his arms upon the cross, not to grasp the world, but to let go.  Indeed, in the physiology of crucifixion, one scientist shows very elegantly (figure to the right) that his body--all he had left--became a weight used against him as he struggled up and down to breathe... to stay alive (paradoxically, to expel air from the lungs), one must scoot 'up' the cross, maneuvering the tortured wrists into something of a grasping configuration, further tormenting arm and shoulder muscles (which as illustrated here include a dislocation of the right shoulder).  When the victim of crucifixion is exhausted, he stops moving, suffocating under his own body weight, pulmonary edema, cardiac tamponade, and with repsiratory and cardiac failure.  Our Lord made his death a "Job moment", returning praise to the Father as he proclaimed, "Father, into your hands I commend my spirit!"  Entering the total God-forsakenness of death, Jesus descended into hell (Sheol) to join and collect up all those awaiting the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come.

   Christ's death was not a typical martyr's death... there's more here.  Martyrs are very conscious of God's presence in their actions.  It is the motivation  and inspiration and courage from living faith in God that leads them to their sacrifices in hope and not despair.  Martyr's sacrifices are commendable and their losses in the eyes of the world total, but they do so with an eye to the good that lies beyond, never leaving the loving oversight God's vision.  But there was something very different--even greater--with Jesus' death.  His sacrifice was not simply physical or mental to enable passage into a new realm of being, but it was totally spiritual as well.  His death resulted in God's entry into the farthest depths of death itself.  Unlike a human martyr, letting go of life to embrace something else... God's kingdom, when God died on that day, Jesus freely entered a state of total forsakenness before the Father.  He died not merely in his human nature or divine nature (natures cannot be separated from a person), the Second Person of the Trinity, really, truly experienced in a way that no other human being could the totality of darkness which those who go out from God as created beings could experience.  This total darkness encompasses all the loss we could possibly encounter... loss of our material goods, loss of our name and identity, loss of life itself, but most importantly, the loss of relationship and intimacy with God.  This is why Jesus' victory over death is not only a physical victory for us who fear the dissociation of our bodies and souls and the dis-integration that follows, but it is also a moral victory over the death and separation from God that takes place by way of sin. 

   Ironically, Jesus' "going out" seems to be just the opposite of Job's "coming forth... going back" and "the Lord gave and has taken away".  In 'going out' from God, Jesus is depleted, only to return in glory.  Conversely, we have the illusion of this life away from God being full, only to be emptied out again when we take that last hearse ride.  Does the seeming-backwardness of this pattern in human experience suggest that perhaps our perspective isn't necessarily the best one?

   This reasoning still doesn't make loss easy, but it does reveal a tiny nugget of God's wisdom in allowing loss to be part of the human experience.  Loss prepares us for greater glory.  What else might God have in store for those who are committed to "coming back" to him using the pattern and habit of trust guided by faith?  Of this wisdom, scripture explains, ...eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor has the human mind conceived of what God has prepared for those who love him, this God has revealed through the Spirit, for the Spirit scrutinizes everything, even the depths of God.  (1 Corinthians 2:9)

  The next "comeback" installment on will be out, probably, on Wednesday.

  

  

On the Comeback Trail (I), or, "Rocky, stay down!"

    After getting beat up, it really is easier just to stay down, isn't it?  Consider the title to this post: it has been a long, grueling match between the Champ and his upstart challenger.  The Champ has gained the upper hand, proving why he is the champ, boxing Rocky to the mat... one eye swollen shut, blood all over the place, a broken nose and probably a broken rib or two.  When Rocky hit the mat in the 14th round, all Mickey could say was, "Down! Down!  Stay down!"  The fight was over... there was nothing more to prove; Rocky did his best against all odds, and it was time to admit defeat and walk away.  Anything more and he'd get "permanent damaged".  A coach has a responsibility to his boxer, that if he is not able to take care of himself, the coach may need to 'throw in the towel' to tell the referee to mercifully end the fight before his boxer is killed.

   We all get knocked to the ground at one point or another in our lives, and it hurts... bad.  Marriages end.  Classes are failed.  Businesses fold.  Children disappoint.  We find that we are not as fit or able to do what we set out to do and we fall to the ground before achieving our goals and dreams.  Standing up again and taking another punch may land you in the hospital... or the funeral home.

   But Rocky stood up, and survived into and through Round 15... and he ended up losing the match anyway by a narrow split decision.  Was it worth it?  I suppose so.  He gained a rematch with Apollo in Rocky 2, and he had his pride.  ("AD-RI-AN!")  Was it worth the risk?  That's a harder question to answer, but all the classic sports movies (Rocky, Hoosiers, Bad News Bears, Rudy, Remember the Titans, Raging Bull, Cool Runnings, Over the Top (another Sly classic), Major League, The Blind Side, A League of their Own, Seabiscuit, Race for your Life Charlie Brown, and even Hunger Games) are not about folding when the going gets tough... of course, some of these sports movies also show that getting back up doesn't guarantee success either!

   There is something important about learning how to get up after being knocked down, in order to finish the fight.  If one is lucky enough, the fight can be completed.  If not, then the focus must be in training for the chance of a rematch on another day.  The skill here, I suppose, is being able to discern the difference between a mortal and non-mortal wound, or having a coach/mentor/counsellor that can throw in the towel for you when you can't tell the difference any more.

   In Rocky Balboa, the (sixth and hopefully) last installment of the franchise, we hear Rocky gather up a lifetime of experience to tell his son:

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you, no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain't gonna have a life.
  

The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows because it is a mean and nasty place.  Getting up is hard, because there is risk-- being hit again, failing again, and falling again.  But what happens when you give up?  Discouragement, failure, and darkness wins.  We close the door to success altogether when giving up.  What would never have happened if these people gave up?

• Abraham Lincoln lost his Illinois Senate bid in 1858.  In 1860, he was elected President of the United States.
• Harland ('Colonel') Sanders went bankrupt at age 65 when the Interstate bypassed his cafe where he served chicken.  Living out of his car, he began franchising his chicken restaurant concept, enlisting almost 200 franchisees and 400 locations in five years.  He sold the franchising business 10 years after his restaurant failed, retiring a multi-millionaire.
• Henry Ford's Detroit Automobile Company failed in 1899, before designing the inexpensive, reliable Model T in 1908 and launching Ford Motor Co.
• Walt Disney went $4M in debt in the early 30's, losing the rights to his main character, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.  In 1938, he risked his last dime on producing "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs," bankrolling the Walt Disney Studios we know today.
• Steve Jobs was forced resign ('fired') from Apple in 1985 by the "Pepsi Challenge" wiz-kid, John Scully, who became CEO and lead Apple to a 10x gain from 1985 to 1993.  After founding NeXT computers and building up Pixar, Jobs sold NeXT to Apple for $427M and returned as CEO to a decimated, dying Apple in 1998, starting the iMac, iPod, iPhone, iPad revolution that turned Apple into the largest publicly-traded company in the world.  See my previous post for the video and the money quote for this point.
• Fr. Francis Solanus Casey was a Capuchin friar in Detroit who was a poor student--actually a terrible student--in the seminary.  When he graduated, he was not deemed fit to preach or hear confessions, so he was restricted from performing these ministries after ordination--ministries most priests see as 'essential' to their priestly spirituality and identity.  Dedicated to a life of prayer with his brothers, he was assigned a rather lowly job in the house... not teaching or study, not a profession or trade... he was the porter, the only job he was 'qualified' to do.  As porter, he would answer the door, and in particular, he would receive requests from the public for the brothers' prayer and charity.  He received nearly 6000 such intentions in the 28 years of his service.  But from these 6000 requests, nearly 700 miracles have been reported: cures from cancer, leukemia, TB, blindness, arthritis... his intercession is even credited with saving Chevrolet from bankruptcy in 1925 at the request of a down-on-his-luck auto worker.  Fr. Casey has been declared venerable, and the cause for his canonization is in progress.  Pretty good for a lowly door man, eh?
• Frank Abagnale was caught up in petty crimes as a teenager, graduating to forgery and counterfeiting across the US and Europe, before finally being caught, extradited, convicted, and imprisoned.  After four years on a twelve year sentence in federal prison, he was consulted by the FBI on active forgery and counterfeiting cases and gained parole.  Altogether, he would continue to work for the FBI for more than 30 years, advising and even teaching at the FBI academy.  His life story would become the subject of the 2002 movie directed by Stephen Speilberg, Catch Me if You Can.

Each of these entrepreneurs had plenty of reason to give up in their moments of loss and rejection and desolation, but they didn't.  They made the most of their challenges and indignities; they learned from their hard times and rose to greater success in subsequent enterprises.
   But there's an even greater spiritual truth concealed in making the effort to rise again from our falls.  Consider the Stations of the Cross and our Lord's three falls.  It was not beneath our Lord's dignity to stumble and fall under the weight of his sufferings.  He was being driven to his death, but did not give up his spirit until he had completed the full measure of his sacrifice, declaring only after all had been fulfilled that "it is finished".
   Why does God allow good people to suffer?  There isn't an easy answer to this, but we have one big clue:  "God so loved the world that he sent his only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not die, but have eternal life"  (John 3: 16).  God's all-powerful love, demonstrated in the sufferings and death of his Son shows God's absolute solidary with all who suffer.  Can we do no less than bear our pains well, drinking the fearful cup that Christ drank, (Matthew 20:22), that we might be prepared to taste in his glory?  Suffering is not without redemption in the Christian economy of salvation.  We suffer that we may make up for that which was lacking in the cross of Christ (Colossians 1:24) and so share in its glory.  It is not that Christ's sufferings were insufficient for salvation, but rather that our personal salvation comes through the merits of not only his cross, but also the way that we accept the crosses handed to us in order to follow him.
   Rocky had every reason to stay down.  Christ had every reason to stay down.  Rocky lost the bout, Christ suffered death, but these losses, these sufferings, these humiliations paved the way for new glory.

On the Comeback Trail (Introduction)

    In recent weeks, it has been a time of re-focusing and re-imagining what this blog can do and what it needs to do in order to be a worthwhile focus of my ministry in the long run.  Originally conceived as a 'sandbox' for me to work in as I tried to keep my mind active in a homiletic kind of way, this blog now needs to be something more going forward.

   I am about to re-enter public ministry.  The details are still being worked out and I don't have an exact timetable or a sequence of events before me.  While 'on leave' I have been functioning as a priest, spending time deep in prayer and 'spritual renewal', and working with a great team of people who have my interests and health at heart.  I pray every day for the people I have left behind, and for the priests who have been serving in the interim. 

   I do not intend to talk about the details of my 'leave' here on the blog (yet) or the actions that precipitated this leave, but I think that I do have something to say -- actually, a lot to say -- from my recent experiences on how Christians respond to stress, crisis, personal sin, persecution, conversion, and challenge.  While cathartic for me, I hope that these observations can help all of my readers consider the challenges that they face in their lives.  I also hope to be able to report milestones of healing and redemption very soon as well.  I can point to gifts of grace and mercy revealed in the silence of my own heart, but a visible, tangible restoration in the public sphere is only beginning to bud for others to see.

   Looking out over the congregations I have been priviledged to pastor over the last 5 years, it is tough to consider the pain and anguish so many suffer... challenging medical diagnoses, broken families, disappointments regarding children--both young and grown, financial problems, loss of family memebers, uncertainty for the future.  In short, these shadow moments of our lives are not signs that we are alone or that God has withheld his grace.   They are only shadows.  The sun still shines.  Our call is to step out towards the light with radical trust in the power of our Lord to provide, even in times of confusion and misery.

   Over the next three weeks or so, I have 8 observations to post about the journey from darkness to light.  I welcome your comments, appreciate your "hits", "likes" and "+1"s, and look forward to constructive thoughts on how I can improve these reflections.  There may be the beginnings of a retreat program here... or maybe not... I place that in God's hands.  But the most important thing is that these months of darkness and pain not be un-redeemed... God has a purpose to all of this.  And so, let me show you what my hidden wound has taught me.

Steve Jobs at Stanford (2005)

I'm writing a series that will appear on this blog in the next couple weeks about pain and loss, perseverence and 'comeback' in the Christian journey.  Yeah, there's a slight connection with my life, but I'll get into all of that later.  One of the articles I am writing brought me back to Steve Jobs' Commencement Address to Stanford University in 2005.  I had not seen it since that time, and oh, it means ever so much to me now.  There's a line that is jumping out for me in my personal life, that I'd like to share, and hopefully encourage you, my readers, who may be facing challenges in your lives:

 

"I had been rejected, but I was still in love.  And so I decided to start over.  I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.  The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything.  It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life...  I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple.  It was awful-tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it.  Sometimes life's going to hit you in head with a brick.  Don't lose faith.  I am convinced that the only thing that kept me going is that I loved what I did.  You've got to find what you love.  And that is as true for work and for you lovers.  Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work.  And the only way to to great work is to love what you do.  If you haven't found it yet, keep looking, and don't settle.  As with all matters of the heart, you will know when you find it.  And like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on..."  (quote starts at 6:54)